Yesterday, someone was very short with me, and it caught me off guard because I was in what I thought a pretty happy mood at first. As I felt like I was being backed up into a corner, I tried to stay calm and react calmly, but felt my stomach shaking and a knot in my throat. I wanted to yell.
In my “Feel the Breeze” CD liner notes, I talk about anger needing to be manifested.
Anger (equivalent of fear) is many times held within because it is many times directed at people who we don’t feel we can communicate with (including those in authority, people you may know well – you know how they will most likely react and would rather not deal with it).
If we don’t express our anger in a healthy manner (with self reflection, writing, communicating with self or others, punching pillows, etc.), it will manifest in our lives somehow.
Louise Hay talks about it being manifested in accidents, saying we get so angry we want to hit people, and as a result we get hit.
When I see dings on my car, I think of small outbursts of my anger. Car accidents are revealing in anger that was bottled up and needing to manifest.
Another way anger manifests is when people “unexpectedly” lash our or take out their anger/frustration on you. This could be a random person on the street, in a grocery store line, someone at work, and of course a loved one. We wonder what we did to that person to receive that, and usually chuck it up to some kind of conclusion/justification so we can move on with our lives.
Can we truly express ALL of our anger in a healthy manner without hurting one (including ourselves) within a certain amount of time so we don’t have these unintended “manifestations” occurring? What if we’ve got things to do, places to go, other people to see? And doesn’t it usually come at the most inopportune times?
What if the anger comes from residual or packets or whole loads of stored anger/frustration that we’ve held in since we were kids? Should we expect that we can get all that stuff out? And if so, how?
I definitely believe we should manifest ALL of it. Just imagining the feeling of freedom and the lifting of weights that have been holding us down is wonderful.
We can seek professional help. Like Louise Hay, she was able to express her anger with the help of a therapist. Along with that, she did her own research and spiritual treatments to eventually heal herself of cancer.
We can start by taking small but constant steps. Whether it’s writing in a journal every night before going to bed or frequently talking things out with a good friend, your partner, family member, or even a group of people you can trust (all of you can discuss your own feelings and help each other by being understanding and positively encouraging).
You can decide what works best for your life wherever and however you feel comfortable.
You can start TODAY. Make a list of anything that comes to your mind that really bothers you, that occasionally irritates you, etc. Then go one by one and figure out why that made you so upset.
Did it collide with your core values? More than likely it did.
Consider that person is someone you love dearly. Could be your own baby, a family member, a friend, anyone that brings you a feeling of warmth and kindness, who makes you feel important and loved. Many times, I try to catch myself getting tiffed on the road at someone. Because Hawaii’s such a small place, I find myself doing a double take to make sure I didn’t just get tiffed at my own aunt! We really are all essentially connected – we are human beings with a heart. If we can remind ourselves that everyone we encounter is a living and breathing being just like you, we are already on a higher path.
Or you can imagine that person as a little baby or child. See the innocence of the deeds that they did to hurt you as being something they didn’t intend.
Or you can try to understand that the person is ultimately calling out for love. How in the world and why in the world would they do it that way? Many times, we cannot even start to imagine what kind of home and personal life someone else has. Sure, we can say they lived in an economically challenged area but say they can change their lives. But what if they witnessed beatings everyday, got beaten themselves, and was always told they could never amount to anything? How easy would it be for them to change their lives?
We can say these people are so wealthy and had it all. But that doesn’t mean that their emotional needs may have been met. Perhaps their parents were so busy making all that money that they didn’t have the time (or make the time) to tend to their children’s needs.
Compassion for everyone. Understanding for everyone.
When people lash out at you, remember that they are human beings dealing with their own hurts. They are calling out for love in the way they know how. This doesn’t mean that you have to go out of your way to literally show people you love them. They may not be emotionally ready to deal with their feelings. Just taking the time to feel and think genuine quiet loving thoughts and words that warm your own heart will be felt by them and manifested in your life.
If we can truly go within and break down each of our “hurts” by peeling off the layers, we will find that at the core is the need to have compassion for people that “wronged” you. This is when can we deal with our own hurts, receive love, forgive them, and ultimately forgive ourselves.
Please visit www.TraciToguchi.com for previous blogs.